Tell Simone I’m not going to approve that girl that she sent me for the Brazilian layout. I asked for clean, athletic, smiling; she sent me dirty, tired and paunchy. And RSVP yes to Michael Kors’ party, I want the driver to drop me off at 9:30 and pick me up at 9:45 sharp. Then call Natalie at Glorious Foods and tell her no, for the 40th time, no, I don’t want dacquoise, I want tortes filled with warm rhubarb compote. Then call my ex-husband and remind him of the parent/teacher conference at Dalton tonight. Then call my husband. Ask him to please meet me for dinner at that place I went to with Mossimo. Also, tell Richard I saw all the pictures that he sent for that feature on the female paratroopers and they’re all so deeply unattractive. Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender, female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really. Also I need to see all the things that Nigel has pulled for Gwyneth’s second cover try. I wonder if she’s lost any of that weight yet.

Oh to be the editrix at Vogue, if only…

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